PJ-Hime's PJ-Hibernation

Hello friends! Some of you on the server have probably noticed that I was mostly missing up until recently. It's a little rude to silently abandon a community that you started, so I'm sorry for disappearing 

First of all I've been doing okay, all things considered. But mentally it's been more of a struggle than usual, and it's been really hard to feel cute or have the energy to keep in touch. I'm not in crisis or anything, I just feel tired most of the day and haven't done the best keeping on top of my regular chores or taking the best care of myself. Ideally it's good to have a healthy balance of self care and dressing up cute. Instead I've spent every day in pajamas playing games. Even if I dress up, my room is too cluttered to take outfit pics. Then before long I become overly sensitive to the fit or texture of the clothes and I'm right back in my pjs again. Lately I just can't tap into my inner cuteness, instead I'm full gremlin 24/7. I'm actually fine with myself not feeling cute sometimes. I love feeling cute and good about my appearance, but there's plenty other things to focus on or feel proud of myself for. It's just hard to keep in touch with a fashion and beauty based community when I'm wearing the same sweatpants again for the 4th day in a row

As someone with Brain Problems there's a constant push and pull with me and my fashion. It always seems like dressing up makes me happier, but it also takes more energy than being wrapped up in blankets all day long. It feels a little like parallel MP and HP bars. In himekaji clothes I feel powerful so my MP bar fills up, but my comfort clothes let me restore my HP while my MP stays low. (Ok I've been playing a ton of FFXIV lately) I've noticed that a lot of us in alternative fashion communities have a similar up and down. Maybe the struggle of taking care of yourself makes you more invested in the outcome. Like, okay, if I'm getting out of bed and washing my face it's gonna be on my terms 

Overall, it can be hard to tell if I'm sad because I'm not wearing himekaji or if I'm not wearing himekaji because I'm sad. I think it's best not to attach judgement to it though. Going back to MMOs, you've gotta balance your resources properly! I do want to be more active in the community though, even if I'm not feeling well to dress up at times. If nothing else it's a good reminder that there are still things to dress up for ♡